Chapter 2: "That I Might See"

To her everything is crystal, like the telltale mirror before her. She stares at her hands and sees into the flesh.

She has seen her blood spill many times, running from her body in tests of past endurance, but never while still alive and flowing beneath her skin. It's as if she is looking down on her veins from a great height and seeing many rivers converging. And she can see all the places it has taken her.

The red twists and the cracked glass reminds her of the broken windshield of her youth. It reminds her of her mother.

The exotic scent of Obsidian's powers shows this in euphoric clarity and without sadness.

But a slight bitterness has slipped through. A solitary figure standing behind her in the bright shadows begins to come into focus.  The presence is blond and male and resolute. Thoughts of her father come quick, but fade. The mirror is showing her not her childhood, but her early womanhood, complete with the full human heart of a simple girl who has not yet learned to guard it.  Until it is crushed and ruined by the first man she trusted with it.

The man behind her in the darkness is so similar in likeness to the one who did the destroying; she takes her time in turning to face him.

But it is not the old love from her past, of course, and her heart is safe in its cage momentarily. It is the man who helps her in her fortitude; a man of many weapons.

Her eyes are wild as she looks over him as if seeing him for the first time. Is it the vampire vision playing tricks on her? Beyond the tremors visible to her in his pulse and the arsenal of weapons about his person, Edward, as always, succeeds in surprising her.

Her scrutiny starts in the firm stance of his jean-clad legs and travels up. His hands, with their long tapered fingers, give the appearance of looseness at his sides, but she sees the rigid set to them. His trust in her is at a minimum. For some reason, this makes her smile. They are nice hands, strong and, no doubt, capable of all manners of sins.

Her eyes stroll up pass the darkened belt buckle at his waist and over his abdomen under the thin black of his t-shirt. There is strength here, as there is in his chest and the firm set of his shoulders and collarbone.

The pulse in his throat is racing and she follows it up a thickened vein to his hard jaw line. Then to his lips. They are moving, saying her name, and it takes a moment for the tightness in his voice to reach her.

"Say something, Anita."

Her mind is too full to respond right away. There is fresh attraction here and she is being suffocated by it.  The weight of ice in his eyes recreates a rushing in her head and brings on the fresh scent of the night they met. Such a plain face - he had blended into the crowd. And then that blue gaze had hit and she had to admit to, even back then, his features were attractive through the concentration of fear and danger.

But why the immediate indifference to him upon that meeting? Obsidian's powers force this question upon her. But maybe she knows why.  That night followed mere days after the break of her young heart; that loss of first love. Betrayal had been thick in the air around her, the wound still raw.

With his appearance so close to The Other in his beautiful WASP breeding, her barriers had been thick as cartilage, unrelenting to let through the slightest bit of male appeal.

The vampire sight is exhilarating and is surprisingly comfortable under her skin. It's as if she's found so many things that were missing. But it is pushing at her inside hard. Will she be able to ignore these new insights about Edward went it dwindles away?

If so, what wasted simplicity. At this thought, she smiles. She looks into those blue eyes of his for a long moment, and she says, "I wish you could see what I'm seeing."

His response is quick and hard and helps pierce through this trance.

"I. Don't. Want. To."

She keeps smiling because she knows its making him uncomfortable. She keeps smiling to help keep ahold of these raw feelings; she thinks she may miss them when the power finally creeps away.
 

~fin~

Beautiful Things -by Andain

Can I change my mind
did I think things through
It was once my life -
it was my life at one time

Got up early, found something's missing
my only name.
No one else sees but I got stuck,
and soon forever came.
Stopped pushing on for just a second,
then nothing's changed.
Who am I this time, where's my name
I guess it crept away.

No one's calling for me at the door.
And unpredictable won't bother anymore.
And silently gets harder to ignore.
Look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see.
What's done is done, this life has got it's hold on me.
Just let it go, what now can never be.

I forgot that I might see,
So many beautiful things.
I forgot that I might need,
to find out what life could bring.

Take this happy ending away, it's all the same.
God won't waste this simplicity on possibility.
Get me up, wake me up, dreams are filling
this trace of blame.
Frozen still I thought I could stop,
now who's gonna wait.

No one's calling for me at the door.
and unpredictable won't bother anymore.
and silently gets harder to ignore.
look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see.
what's done is done, this life has got it's hold on me.
just let it go, what now can never be.

Now what do I do
can I change my mind
did I think things through

It was once my life - it was my life at one time.

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